Tuesday 9 February 2010

hello and goodbye


i spent 9 hours in the bus today....getting home to my city...normally i will be iritated, tired, grumpy...however i was actually fine with the time in the bus as i got myself sometime to catch my breath, to be still, quiet and let myself for be contented just to live the moment, be thankful that i am still here, amidst imperfections....encouraging myself to still believe in the beauty of what is around me, people and places alike....

for 9 hours one song kept repeating in my playlist....a song i've always loved, for its sorrows..yet today as i replayed it over and over, i remember all the people i've let down, all those i've said goodbye to, all those i didn't say goodbye to....and i hope it will not be too late...

this song is for the ones i love....yet never 'really' did show how much i care... (do you ever feel so sad that you've let close friends and loved ones slip away for many reasons that at that time seemed out of your control....and then years later realising suddenly how much you missed the person, pick up the phone to call...and realising that you no longer know anything of her/him and you have managed to completely shut them away? the ackwardness of meeting again....the sense of familiarity yet a stronger overwhelming sense of alienation....inflicted by own guilt, self-loathe and pride? ) - it's a haunting feeling i have been having lately...




(from a band i will never stop loving - ataris)

so long my friend, don't say goodbye
just give me one last kiss beneath this glowing sky.
we'll go walking through the park
and hang out in the rain.
tell a joke and watch me smile
as we drink away the day.

and know the next time that you
make a wish upon a star
I'll be wishing on the same one that you do
and every night I'm all alone
in some burn out highway town
I'll be thinking of the day that I met you.

hello again, it's been too long.
what happened to our love
since the last time I was gone?

I detach myself again
and lose something everytime.
the solutions in the problem
temporarily alright.

and know the next time that you
make a wish upon a star
that sometimes it might actually come true.
our conversation can't consist of hello and goodbye
and the silence between saying I love you.
and sometimes I wonder 'bout that too.




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